Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
