my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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