How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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