The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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