grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He passed out mid-signature
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize