They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
