hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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