White coat. Heels.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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