i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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