help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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