So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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