I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
They took my balls.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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