Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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