Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
