You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
