Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
