last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize