I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
MIDGETS
????
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize