The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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