She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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