OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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