You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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