It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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