no, he came in my armpit
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
