Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
