Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize