"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
