My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
