I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
