I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
