Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can I color on your dick again?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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