I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
try to milk me bitch
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