I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
