so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
