SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I need a burrito and a hug.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
