He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize