she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
