there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
