the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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