shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
