so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
