how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
