Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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