my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
