I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
