So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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