I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
