A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My liver just had a heart attack.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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