i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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