hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
