So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
