i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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