I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
