I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize