dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
