so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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