Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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