Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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