i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
