just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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