don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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