I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize