Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize