these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
