I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
