Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
