Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup

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(650): View more from California

My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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(408): View more from California

She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

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(903): View more from Texas

The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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(360): View more from Washington

I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

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(419): View more from Ohio

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT

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