We won't sleep together?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
