Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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