ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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