you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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