I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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