Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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