idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize