I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
