1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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