I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
