This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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